Clarté

I listen because I search for freedom from ambiguity.
I express myself because You pay attention to the details of my desire
At this Time when I am in a dilemma I have no clearness
Even as my mind and body fail to honor its bearer
Though I am overcome by Pain, leaving me in penury
Not of the actual state that emanates from poverty;but from a broken heart
Not of heartbreak from another
But of a Heart that breaks your heart

Oh! So weak, so soft
Too tender, and unwise I lack perception and understanding;
Beating to a rhythm so abnormal my pulse and veins don not find peace
As my mind is clustered in this mixup mystification
Parading, highlighting impossible possibilities
Rejuvenating, recycling obscure clarities
My only option is to believe that this is long gone

Far fetched yet too soon the truth gets to me
I am Between two rocks, twisting and turning in pain
Not of injury, but at sighting the unconsciousness of death in my situation :
In pain, they may collide with me in between and I emerge unhurt
In pain of how my madness may crash these rocks
In pain of how much pain my pain may tend to cause

Even comfort has no habitat as its whereabouts are a myth
Sharing looses its effect as this bottle holds and pours out its bitter content:
Distasteful, disastrous, crazy, preposterous.
Completely rejected by own being
Completely neglected by own sense
Conscience seems dead, perhaps retired.

What in the world in this ?
This overgrown emotion turns to me to a female child
I am unprepared to face the joys of the world let alone this plight
With no warning or any form of alert
Feelings that are delivered with no manual
Not only Illiterate my own circumstance
they Weaken my own obstacles.

No longer the ruler of my world
Even the queen’s tiara bypasses me
I am lost in my own home
A stranger to the contents I once mastered
Unfound in these walls; my walls
Mislaid, adrift…..

No longer the master of my world.
All my defenses pulled down and defeated,
My fences reduced to dust; the only memory of my strength is found in the ashes
Not a single strength or weakness exists anymore
Plain, dead, dead and gone

As my grey matter disintegrates along with experience
vanish is the only word I can comply with
Alone I cling to this tabula rasa… This clear slate !
Because you listen and don’t judge me
You comfort with no words or gestures
You awaken me, and snap me back to sanity.
Now I am crazy in love
Please get me back my clarity.

“Clarity of mind means clarity of passion, too; this is why a great and clear mind loves ardently and sees distinctly what it loves~Blaise Pascal ”

“Clarté” is the French word for clarity

This poem was written by
Miss Chima Ejiofor
twitter  @mizz_chymaa