Cast a net on my emotions oh glorious one
Help me catch these feelings that now overwhelm me
I am drowning in a river of my own demise
Setting aside all that I know to be the truth; your word
Only to erect these false monuments of ideals that do not have foundation in the truth
When did assumptions and thoughts become my source of information ?
How is it that I am a stowaway of my own destiny ?
How am I the last one to receive this inheritance what was gifted to me on the cross ?
Denial is often the antidote I prescribe to myself ,as it allows me to go one more day feeling guilt free and trackless in my reckless abandon
My loves movements have not dile
Ticking with not stop-clock, how then do I truly measure the impact I am having ?
Maybe by the number of likes and comments I get or the retweets I receive, might make all the difference and so I come up with more clever words to sound like a cleaver breaking up knowledge to distribute freely;
Hoping this will esteem me and provide favor with the masses
My love for the world is because I have no understanding of what love for myself is
I see these movies where people discover the essence of life and have Fulfilment,
Well mine for now must come from packages I receive in the mail after my self love sprees with my credit card
Let’s see how long this lasts with this cycle of debt and release from my parents continue
Will I ever become responsible enough to accept silence as freedom or will I dedicate my loneliness to being ineffective at getting the attention of those I subjectively believe know the truth?
With my eyes wide shut I rummage through my daily life marking a mess and cleaning it up with another
The days are long and the nights short because sleep only reminds me of how empty my bed is which shows me more and more that I have no one to lay beside and tell me that everything will be fine
Oh the mistakes I have made, the faces I have missed while searching for me instead of you. I use words like intentional but act superficial, I say that I believe while in reality I live just to die in my own unbelief
How do I break this cycle ?
I want to ride out into the sunrise departing from my desert of hopelessness; to be rejuvenated and given a reason to believe once again. For I have heard of a place where truth reigns, and love begins from within. A city set on a hill where light shines eternal and darkness has no say
A Mystic might call it enlightenment, a youth ;the state of wokeness, a believer; salvation, I call it a place to hope for even as my faith is in the yet unseen,
I have heard of this manifest glory of a man just like me who traded his joy for all who will ever live on earth and the price to pay is to believe in him.
He preached love, he lived love and he is Love, what a life to have lived.
I hope to one day be remembered as such.